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Author Topic: Very unhappy with my relationship. Don't know what to do?  (Read 1152 times)

sumita

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Very unhappy with my relationship. Don't know what to do?
« on: August 02, 2011, 06:43:58 AM »

I have been with my boyfriend going on 10 yrs. When I met him I was 18 and he was 21. I was a virgin and he has been my one and only, yet he always accuses me of cheating. I don't know how he expects me to cheat since we are together almost 24/7. When I was in school he would call me constantly to ask what I was doing. I would tell him I'm in class stop calling, but he wouldn't stop. When I would go out of class to talk to him in the hall, he would ask things like "who is that?" and I would say I don't know I'm in a hallway and there are other people here, but he would assume I was with a guy. When I would come home he would smell me and tell me I smelled like men's cologne. Yet there would be like 1 or 2 guys in all my classes and I didnt interact with them so I don't know how I would smell like cologne. It took me quite a while to finish school because of his jealousy. He wouldn't tell me not to go, but after a while I got turned off from all the silly arguing.

He hasn't beat me or anything but he has come close. He has pushed me, snuffed me, and come in my face screaming at me. I called the cops on him once and they arrested him for this. He gave me a whole big story that he loved me and he was gonna change and he did for a while, but only to be a complete nightmare after threatening to through me in jail for making a false report, which he never did cuz it was all true. My parents lived in another state and to start fresh we agreed to move there. We didn't officially move, but we stayed with my parents a few months so that I could try to find a job and make the move official. We did this twice and I could never find a job in my field so the move never happened. I have worked on & off in several settings, but never found a job in my field, which would pay a decent salary. Therefore, according to him all of our financial problems are my fault. He always tells me "If you would just get a job in your field we wouldn't have any problems." I have tried so many times, but I graduated right around the time the recession started and I just haven't had any luck.ago he spit in my face.

We have a child together and we constantly argue about her. We just have completely different opinions about how to raise her. I'm hispanic and my dad is black skinned and my mom is white skinned. Everytime he sees an image of a monkey or something, he tells my daughter oh look at your mommy, grandpa, uncle( my brother). He never says this about my mom though. Also, when I was pregnant he stated several times he didn't want our daughter to be dark. So I tell him that he is being a racist when he says those types of things and that he shouldn't teach her to hate part of herself. He tells me I'm crazy and just don't know how to play around.

A few months back, we were arguing and he spit in my face. I just found that to be so offensive. All these types of incidents have happened in front of our child and she always cries. He has told me that he could find a girl better than me and that I'm not a good mother among other things. But later comes back and says he loves me and wants me to be the mother of his future children.

I still love him, but not like I used to. It wouldn't be the end of my world if he was not in it. And don't get me wrong, I'm no angel, but he is driving me crazy. I recently left him for like a week, but had to come back. I told him I only came back cuz I couldn't afford my own apt. He said he would change as usual, but now is starting up his ish again. I just don't know what to do, cuz sometimes he is absolutely like the sweetest guy in the world, and out of nowhere he just flips out. It's like I'm living with Bruce Banner or something. By the way, for those that manage to read all this, sorry for the novel, but I had to vent.
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