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Author Topic: LoopyIdeas Twitter Tweets - Page 5  (Read 2707 times)

Jay Sadie

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LoopyIdeas Twitter Tweets - Page 5
« on: August 19, 2013, 03:06:30 AM »

I decided to create a post where most of our Twitter Tweets can be seen here. When this list gets too long I will create a second, third... post and link them all for easy navigation.

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Small minds are concerned with the extraordinary, great minds with the ordinary.

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.

Common sense is not so common.

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

Every noble work is at first impossible.

What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Mankind is made great or little by its own will.

The power of imagination makes us infinite.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.

Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.

It is always the simple that produces the marvelous.

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!

The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.

Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities.

The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.

A thing is not necessarily true because someone dies for it.

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.

It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.

When you're an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you.

No man is rich enough to buy back his past.

Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

It is incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense.

Deficiency will never show itself during the dry runs.

Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.

It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong, and an even bigger one to keep his mouth shut when he's right.

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Everyone has a right to an opinion, but not every opinion is right.

For every idiot proof system devised, a new, improved idiot will arise to overcome it.

There are two rules for success in life: Rule 1 - Don't tell people everything you know.

The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.

Boren's Laws Of The Bureaucracy: (1) When in doubt, mumble. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in charge, ponder.

There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

If you throw something away, you will need it the next day.

Freud's 23rd law: ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity.

There are three ways to get things done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your kids to do it.

Misery no longer loves company, Nowadays it insists on it.

If you want to be well liked, never lie about yourself, and be careful when telling the truth about others.

Free advice costs nothing until you act upon it.

There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.

Only a few problems have a single answer.

What's good politics is bad economics and vice versa, vice versa.

If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.

There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit.

Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.

For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

There is nothing so small that it can't be blown out of proportion.

It's hell to work for a nervous boss, especially if you are why he's nervous!

Just about the time when your income gets to the point where food prices don't matter, calories do.

Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed.

A crisis is when you cannot say "let's just forget the whole thing."

The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too.

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

News headline: Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.

If a cop arrests a mime, does he tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.

The nice part about living in a small town is when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

If all else fails, stop using all else.

Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Escapologists struggle for a living.

His girlfriend wrote on a balloon, "Will you propose to me?" He immediately popped the question.

A recent survey found that a woman's, "I'll be ready in 5 minutes", and a man's, "I'll be home in 5 minutes", are exactly the same.

Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it most rarely have it.

Gambling addiction hotlines might get a lot more gamblers ringing in if every tenth caller was a winner.

Hummingbirds are just regular birds that don't know the words.

In someone's eyes you are perfect.

Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the heck is wrong with you.

If you expect the unexpected the unexpected becomes expected and so then you'd have nothing to expect.

It's better to be a failure at something you love, than to be a success at something you hate.

Life is like a hot bath, the longer you stay the more wrinkled you get.

Action is the antidote for despair.

The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

The best way to get rid of a telemarketer is to ask them what they are wearing.

We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 telling them to sit down and shut up.

A genius is one who can do anything except make a living.

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed!

Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.

The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected.

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable, we find it necessary to change it every six months.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

The less we know, the longer the explanation.

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

Ten percent of something is better than 100% of nothing.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and husbands.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him, I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do? - Pablo Picasso

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

The luck of having talent is not enough; one must also have a talent for luck.

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. (Famous Politician)

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; the engineer, the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Albert Einstein: "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.

The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter of civilization.

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rigs.

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.

The future is not what it once used to be...

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.

Beginner pilot rule: You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.

The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't move... the earth moves.

HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.

IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.

INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.

The only difference between Genius and Insanity... is success.

Experience is something you do not get until just after you need it.

Anything that can become tangled around something else, will.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency – even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” – Ronald Reagan

I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Remember the teakettle; though up to its neck in hot water, it continues to sing.

“As a matter of fact” is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn’t.

Remember... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Women like silent men. They think they’re listening.

You can always spot a well-informed man – his views are the same as yours.

Never buy a car you can’t push.

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Half of the people in the world are below average.

In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

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« Last Edit: January 26, 2014, 01:46:44 AM by Jay Sadie »
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"I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success." - Nikola Tesla
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